I sighed. “I have to. I don’t even know what I’m doing…”
“No one does, that’s the point! It’s a learning experience, and honey, you’re losing.”
“I’ve barely even done anything!”
“And that’s the problem. You can’t give up now! If you do, I’ll….”
“I’ll ruin my life.”
“I’m serious. Without you, I’m nothing.”
“You’ll be fine, Luke.”
“No, I won’t. I’ll become an alcoholic.”
“Sure you will.”
“And I’ll sleep with tons of women.”
“Not my problem.”
“And…I’ll…become an angry cat lady.”
“You’d need to be a woman for that.”
He pouted, grabbing my abandoned pencil and throwing it across the table at me.
“Hey, that hurt!” I whined, snatching it out of his reach.
He paused, his eyes unmoving, the anger subsiding beneath them until all that was left was a dimmed star and a sadness I knew I would never comprehend.
“Nothing.” His grin faded, and I felt a draft sweep between us, though the window was closed. “Just tell me one thing…If you stop, what will happen to me?”
“I…I don’t know.”
“Yes, you do. Writers don’t create characters, they create people. If you stop writing, I’ll die.”
That’s not true dissolved on my lips. That’s when he stood up and walked away, waiting for me to follow, for the moment when he would hear my footsteps and feel that comforting rush of relief.
But I didn’t know if I would.
A voice in my head whispered, Coward and Failure, and other lies that left the metallic taste of blood in my mouth.
I pushed the chair back, slowly, letting the feet scrape against the wood floors. Without looking back, I stumbled to catch up with him.
When I did, he smiled. And it was that smile that made me want to stay.
I hate the feeling of wanting to write something, but not having enough inspiration to do it. There's always that little voice that says you're useless and won't accomplish anything...
But sometimes, it's wrong.
4/26/14: I added a few things.
You're welcome! Thanks for commenting; I'm happy that you liked it.
I completely agree; I think it's better to think of characters as real people rather than just characters because it makes it easier for the reader to connect with the characters and the emotions they are feeling. Sometimes though, characters are so poorly written that they make very unrealistic people. ^^
Thank youuuuu! I'm so glad you like this!
I know this was in the critique folder of the group, but I honestly have nothing to say....I do not think I have anything to add to this. It seems good the way it is. However, if you would like I could ask my friend to read it and see what she thinks. She is much better at critiques than I am.
Good luck with your writing!
It's okay! I totally understand. I'm not very good at critiquing things either and I always feel guilty about it. You can ask your friend if you would like to, but don't feel bad about this critique. I greatly appreciate the feedback you've given me!
Thanks! Good luck to you as well
Anyways, I will bring it by my friend and see if she would give your deviation a read.
You're welcome and thank you!
This is a very good piece.
If I was gonna offer any sort of critique it would be to lengthen it with descriptive details about the room they are in.
I understand that it’s possibly lacking more details as part of its “Lazy Writer” character. But, descriptive details aren’t just only used to paint a scene. They also offer the reader a chance to let the ideas and thoughts set in their mind.
At least it’s something to consider.
Also, is this the first character abandoned by the writer? Is there a graveyard out back, through a window that crumpled up papers have been tossed out?
As I said, this piece by itself is very good, quite enjoyable and doesn’t really need to be changed much to remain good. But I feel there is the possibility for a longer bit of writing that can remain as a quick enjoyable ready, but with more of itself in it.
Yeah, I could probably lengthen it and make it more descriptive, but I intended this to be a quick scene to mimic the style of the argument. To me, I feel like the words that were spoken were more important than the setting, so that's why I didn't include much description, though I agree that it could have used more.
Nope, this writer has abandoned plenty of characters before, but this character is the first that they actually grew attached to.
Again, thanks for the feedback! I appreciate it
My favourite part was the threats to be come an alcoholic and crazy cat-lady - that's right, throw a tantrum over it
I loved the crazy cat lady part too
Hahaha yes, threatening the writer is always a good way to get them back on track ^^
My babys need to stop sassying me!