I sighed. “I have to. I don’t even know what I’m doing…”
“No one does, that’s the point! It’s a learning experience, and honey, you’re losing.”
“I’ve barely even done anything!”
“And that’s the problem. You can’t give up now! If you do, I’ll….”
“I’ll ruin my life.”
“I’m serious. Without you, I’m nothing.”
“You’ll be fine, Luke.”
“No, I won’t. I’ll become an alcoholic.”
“Sure you will.”
“And I’ll sleep with tons of women.”
“Not my problem.”
“And…I’ll…become an angry cat lady.”
“You’d need to be a woman for that.”
He pouted, grabbing my abandoned pencil and throwing it across the table at me.
“Hey, that hurt!” I whined, snatching it out of his reach.
He paused, his eyes unmoving, the anger subsiding beneath them until all that was left was a dimmed star and a sadness I knew I would never comprehend.
“Nothing.” His grin faded, and I felt a draft sweep between us, though the window was closed. “Just tell me one thing…If you stop, what will happen to me?”
“I…I don’t know.”
“Yes, you do. Writers don’t create characters, they create people. If you stop writing, I’ll die.”
That’s not true dissolved on my lips. That’s when he stood up and walked away, waiting for me to follow, for the moment when he would hear my footsteps and feel that comforting rush of relief.
But I didn’t know if I would.
A voice in my head whispered, Coward and Failure, and other lies that left the metallic taste of blood in my mouth.
I pushed the chair back, slowly, letting the feet scrape against the wood floors. Without looking back, I stumbled to catch up with him.
When I did, he smiled. And it was that smile that made me want to stay.
I hate the feeling of wanting to write something but not having enough inspiration to do it. There's always that little voice that says you're useless and won't accomplish anything...
But sometimes, it's wrong.
4/26/14: I added a few things.
I have a talent, or perhaps a curse, that I can write off the top of my head. I can formulate things, and when I type them out, they are largely complete. Every paper I ever handed in in college, including postgraduate school, was a first draft. For undergrad, this was perhaps more impressive, as I wrote on a little portable manual (mid 70's). When I see an picture or piece of art, I often generate a story based on it. My longest story on DA (nine chapters so far for The Haven, started as a caption to a single photograph. I tend to write fiction in a stream of consciousness sort of way. Conversations happen, and I type them. Because of this, the stories sometimes take on a life of their own, such as The Haven. It is almost as though I become a witness to their lives, and I document it. When I first started it, I did not envision Masaki, or that he would find his fantasy fulfilled in Anna Maria. Or that Tess would get in a car wreck. Yet, these things happened, and they furthered the story. All the while these characters, these people held true to themselves. Some grew, or changed in ways initially unforeseen.
How does all this happen? Part of it is my habit of formulating things in my head. Another important piece is that most of the characters have pieces of me inside of them. In some cases, they act the way I would act, or the way I'd like to think I would act. I also throw myself into the character. I become a transwoman, a Japanese sushi apprentice, a former Marine, a bar owner, a high school student, an older executive, etc. At my age, I have experienced much, studied even more, and have come across many people of all shapes, colors, and even gender-states. All of this is fodder for the creation of these people who live and breathe in my stories.
In a few cases, I have based a character on a real person (e.g. European Journey).
So the idea that one of my characters could die in the way you describe, takes on a different meaning. If I stop a story, or go on hiatus, they don't die, they return to the safety of my mind, where they can await a summons to once again appear on the printed page (or computer screen). I am not sure that what I've just put down is all that clear, but all of this takes place in a place that straddles the conscious and subconscious, so it doesn't necessarily lend itself to an objective description.
Feel free to ask any questions you may have.
Personally, when I try to write a story I usually either end up giving up on it permanently or keeping it stored inside my head.
This is by far my favourite of your work I want to be a writer, but I never show my work to anyone because I have low confidence. So when I create characters I become conflicted on whether to keep going or try to create a different character. ;-; Thanks for writing this, I'll read it whenever I need the motivation to keep going, although it'll be a while before I am confident enough to actually write something...
(Well, even if I did decide to try something else, I'm too attached to my characters to let them die, so I would just end up filling my sketchbooks with them. That's the thing with creating people rather than characters, you end up getting sentimentally attached to them like they're your friends even in reality.)
So thanks again for writing this And keep it up, I'll be watching you...
I completely understand. I've been writing for about six years now and still hate sharing my work. I usually never do, unless I get pressured into it. Characters can be tricky. I think once you get inside a character's head first before trying to write them it makes the writing so much easier. I'd love to read your work sometime, if you decide to share!
That's not necessarily a bad thing. I think characters can be people too, in a way. Once you give them enough time and personality, they do seem real. I definitely get attached to some of my characters.
Aww you're very welcome! Thank you for reading it!
You're welcome! Thanks for commenting; I'm happy that you liked it.
I completely agree; I think it's better to think of characters as real people rather than just characters because it makes it easier for the reader to connect with the characters and the emotions they are feeling. Sometimes though, characters are so poorly written that they make very unrealistic people. ^^
Thank youuuuu! I'm so glad you like this!
I know this was in the critique folder of the group, but I honestly have nothing to say....I do not think I have anything to add to this. It seems good the way it is. However, if you would like I could ask my friend to read it and see what she thinks. She is much better at critiques than I am.
Good luck with your writing!
It's okay! I totally understand. I'm not very good at critiquing things either and I always feel guilty about it. You can ask your friend if you would like to, but don't feel bad about this critique. I greatly appreciate the feedback you've given me!
Thanks! Good luck to you as well
Anyways, I will bring it by my friend and see if she would give your deviation a read.
You're welcome and thank you!
This is a very good piece.
If I was gonna offer any sort of critique it would be to lengthen it with descriptive details about the room they are in.
I understand that it’s possibly lacking more details as part of its “Lazy Writer” character. But, descriptive details aren’t just only used to paint a scene. They also offer the reader a chance to let the ideas and thoughts set in their mind.
At least it’s something to consider.
Also, is this the first character abandoned by the writer? Is there a graveyard out back, through a window that crumpled up papers have been tossed out?
As I said, this piece by itself is very good, quite enjoyable and doesn’t really need to be changed much to remain good. But I feel there is the possibility for a longer bit of writing that can remain as a quick enjoyable ready, but with more of itself in it.
Yeah, I could probably lengthen it and make it more descriptive, but I intended this to be a quick scene to mimic the style of the argument. To me, I feel like the words that were spoken were more important than the setting, so that's why I didn't include much description, though I agree that it could have used more.
Nope, this writer has abandoned plenty of characters before, but this character is the first that they actually grew attached to.
Again, thanks for the feedback! I appreciate it
My favourite part was the threats to be come an alcoholic and crazy cat-lady - that's right, throw a tantrum over it
I loved the crazy cat lady part too
Hahaha yes, threatening the writer is always a good way to get them back on track ^^