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“Don’t leave me. Please,” he begged.

I sighed. “I have to. I don’t even know what I’m doing…”

“No one does, that’s the point! It’s a learning experience, and honey, you’re losing.”

“I’ve barely even done anything!”

“And that’s the problem. You can’t give up now! If you do, I’ll….”

“You’ll what?”

“I’ll ruin my life.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I’m serious. Without you, I’m nothing.”

“You’ll be fine, Luke.”

“No, I won’t. I’ll become an alcoholic.”

“Sure you will.”

“And I’ll sleep with tons of women.”

“Not my problem.”

“And…I’ll…become an angry cat lady.”

“You’d need to be a woman for that.”

He pouted, grabbing my abandoned pencil and throwing it across the table at me.

“Hey, that hurt!” I whined, snatching it out of his reach.

He paused, his eyes unmoving, the anger subsiding beneath them until all that was left was a dimmed star and a sadness I knew I would never comprehend.

“What?”

“Nothing.” His grin faded, and I felt a draft sweep between us, though the window was closed. “Just tell me one thing…If you stop, what will happen to me?”

“I…I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do. Writers don’t create characters, they create people. If you stop writing, I’ll die.”

“That’s not—”

That’s not true dissolved on my lips. That’s when he stood up and walked away, waiting for me to follow, for the moment when he would hear my footsteps and feel that comforting rush of relief.

But I didn’t know if I would.

A voice in my head whispered, Coward and Failure, and other lies that left the metallic taste of blood in my mouth.

I pushed the chair back, slowly, letting the feet scrape against the wood floors. Without looking back, I stumbled to catch up with him.

When I did, he smiled. And it was that smile that made me want to stay.
"When writing a novel a writer should create living people; people not characters. A character is a caricature." ~Ernest Hemingway

I hate the feeling of wanting to write something but not having enough inspiration to do it. There's always that little voice that says you're useless and won't accomplish anything...

But sometimes, it's wrong.


4/26/14: I added a few things.

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:iconhaegun:
Haegun Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2016
Most of my characters have at least a little piece of me inside of them, so this takes on a different meaning for me. 
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:iconasterlia:
Asterlia Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2016  Student General Artist
What meaning does it take on, if you don't mind me asking? :) If it's too personal, you don't have to tell me. 
Reply
:iconhaegun:
Haegun Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2016
I had not heard that Hemingway quote, but it makes sense to me in perhaps a different way than the one he intended, or the way you translated it in your piece.  To explain, I'll have to back up a little bit.

I have a talent, or perhaps a curse, that I can write off the top of my head.  I can formulate things, and when I type them out, they are largely complete.  Every paper I ever handed in in college, including postgraduate school, was a first draft.  For undergrad, this was perhaps more impressive, as I wrote on a little portable manual (mid 70's).  When I see an picture or piece of art, I often generate a story based on it.  My longest story on DA (nine chapters so far for The Haven, started as a caption to a single photograph.  I tend to write fiction in a stream of consciousness sort of way.  Conversations happen, and I type them.  Because of this, the stories sometimes take on a life of their own, such as The Haven.  It is almost as though I become a witness to their lives, and I document it.  When I first started it, I did not envision Masaki, or that he would find his fantasy fulfilled in Anna Maria.  Or that Tess would get in a car wreck.  Yet, these things happened, and they furthered the story.  All the while these characters, these people held true to themselves.  Some grew, or changed in ways initially unforeseen. 

How does all this happen?  Part of it is my habit of formulating things in my head.  Another important piece is that most of the characters have pieces of me inside of them.  In some cases, they act the way I would act, or the way I'd like to think I would act.  I also throw myself into the character.  I become a transwoman, a Japanese sushi apprentice, a former Marine, a bar owner, a high school student, an older executive, etc.  At my age, I have experienced much, studied even more, and have come across many people of all shapes, colors, and even gender-states.  All of this is fodder for the creation of these people who live and breathe in my stories.
In a few cases, I have based a character on a real person (e.g. European Journey).

So the idea that one of my characters could die in the way you describe, takes on a different meaning.  If I stop a story, or go on hiatus, they don't die, they return to the safety of my mind, where they can await a summons to once again appear on the printed page (or computer screen).  I am not sure that what I've just put down is all that clear, but all of this takes place in a place that straddles the conscious and subconscious, so it doesn't necessarily lend itself to an objective description.

Feel free to ask any questions you may have.
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:iconasterlia:
Asterlia Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2016  Student General Artist
That sounds like an amazing talent to me! I wish I could write that fluidly! 

Personally, when I try to write a story I usually either end up giving up on it permanently or keeping it stored inside my head. 
Reply
:iconbradsc:
BradSC Featured By Owner May 31, 2015  Student
Alright, sorry for spam faving you ^_^ I just found your work and I couldn't help it Love 

This is by far my favourite of your work :D I want to be a writer, but I never show my work to anyone because I have low confidence. So when I create characters I become conflicted on whether to keep going or try to create a different character. ;-; Thanks for writing this, I'll read it whenever I need the motivation to keep going, although it'll be a while before I am confident enough to actually write something...

(Well, even if I did decide to try something else, I'm too attached to my characters to let them die, so I would just end up filling my sketchbooks with them. That's the thing with creating people rather than characters, you end up getting sentimentally attached to them like they're your friends even in reality.)

So thanks again for writing this Clap  And keep it up, I'll be watching you... Dance! 
Reply
:iconasterlia:
Asterlia Featured By Owner May 31, 2015  Student General Artist
It's no problem at all! I never mind spam faving. ;)

I completely understand. I've been writing for about six years now and still hate sharing my work. I usually never do, unless I get pressured into it. Characters can be tricky. I think once you get inside a character's head first before trying to write them it makes the writing so much easier. I'd love to read your work sometime, if you decide to share! :)

That's not necessarily a bad thing. I think characters can be people too, in a way. Once you give them enough time and personality, they do seem real. I definitely get attached to some of my characters. 

Aww you're very welcome! Thank you for reading it! :hug:
Reply
:iconimperfect-parachute:
imperfect-parachute Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2015  Student Writer
I can relate to this so much. Love it!! :aww:
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:iconasterlia:
Asterlia Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2015  Student General Artist
I'm glad! :hug:
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:iconqqi25:
QQI25 Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I love this so much. It's amazing. 
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:iconasterlia:
Asterlia Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2014  Student General Artist
You have no idea how happy I am to hear (read) that! :hug:
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:iconqqi25:
QQI25 Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:tighthug:
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:iconasterlia:
Asterlia Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2014  Student General Artist
:glomp:
Reply
:iconqqi25:
QQI25 Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:huggle:
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:iconbluishshimmer:
BluishShimmer Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
*chuckles* Ah the lack of confidence I know this to well. XD (I just wish my character would figure out who he wanted to be instead of taking on multiple identities -.- XD) Anyway thanks for sharing I really enjoyed it. :D
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:iconasterlia:
Asterlia Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2014  Student General Artist
Yeah, it would be nice if characters could figure out their lives by themselves instead of relying on us lazy writers. :D

You're welcome! Thanks for commenting; I'm happy that you liked it. :)
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:iconroymowz:
RoyMowz Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I really enjoyed this. And it especially hit home for me because (despite how strange it sounds) I have conversations with my characters all the time. Very well done. :D
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:iconasterlia:
Asterlia Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2014  Student General Artist
I'm happy that you liked it! :D Hahaha I do too (it's totally not weird!) 
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:iconfierydownpour479:
FieryDownpour479 Featured By Owner May 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh my gosh, you don't even know how much I love this! This is great because it reminds me so much of my favorite character in one of my books - his name is Logan - and that might mostly be because of the cat lady part (he has this very odd obsession over cats XD). It's wonderful, and it evokes feelings from a very much fictional character that feels real, because, to us, to the writers, even to the readers, our characters are real, and I think that's the best part. You have done a wonderful job with this! And for that, I congratulate you. :)
Reply
:iconasterlia:
Asterlia Featured By Owner May 3, 2014  Student General Artist
For some reason, I find it oddly adorable when guys like cats. I just think it's a cute trait to have. :D
I completely agree; I think it's better to think of characters as real people rather than just characters because it makes it easier for the reader to connect with the characters and the emotions they are feeling. Sometimes though, characters are so poorly written that they make very unrealistic people. ^^

Thank youuuuu! I'm so glad you like this! :glomp:
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:iconfierydownpour479:
FieryDownpour479 Featured By Owner May 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I agree completely, haha! :meow:
I know what you mean! But when writers can create realistic characters, those are the best writers!

You're so very welcome! :D
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:iconasterlia:
Asterlia Featured By Owner May 4, 2014  Student General Artist
Hahaha definitely! :D

heehee :meow:
Reply
:icondanikamilles:
DanikaMilles Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
I like this a lot. I always feel really attached to my characters and there is this need to tell their story, but sometimes I get writer's block or feel lazy and feel the same as you do.

I know this was in the critique folder of the group, but I honestly have nothing to say....I do not think I have anything to add to this. It seems good the way it is. However, if you would like I could ask my friend to read it and see what she thinks. She is much better at critiques than I am.

Good luck with your writing!
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:iconasterlia:
Asterlia Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2014  Student General Artist
I'm actually the opposite. I hardly get attached to my characters for some reason. Luke (the character referred to in this piece) is the first one I've actually felt connected to, like he was a real person and I couldn't just throw him away.

It's okay! I totally understand. I'm not very good at critiquing things either and I always feel guilty about it. You can ask your friend if you would like to, but don't feel bad about this critique. I greatly appreciate the feedback you've given me! :hug:

Thanks! Good luck to you as well :)
Reply
:icondanikamilles:
DanikaMilles Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Well I am glad you got to experience having an attachment to a character. It is a very interesting feeling.

Anyways, I will bring it by my friend and see if she would give your deviation a read.

You're welcome and thank you! :)
Reply
:iconlunzsopara:
Lunzsopara Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2014  Student Artisan Crafter
I really really enjoy this, it's amazing c:
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:iconasterlia:
Asterlia Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2014  Student General Artist
Awww thank you! :hug: I'm so happy you enjoyed it!
Reply
:iconlunzsopara:
Lunzsopara Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2014  Student Artisan Crafter
It's very well written! ^-^
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:iconasterlia:
Asterlia Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2014  Student General Artist
Thanks! You are so sweet :)
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:iconlunzsopara:
Lunzsopara Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2014  Student Artisan Crafter
^-^
Reply
:icondtb84:
dtb84 Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2014   Writer

This is a very good piece.

 

If I was gonna offer any sort of critique it would be to lengthen it with descriptive details about the room they are in.

I understand that it’s possibly lacking more details as part of its “Lazy Writer” character. But, descriptive details aren’t just only used to paint a scene. They also offer the reader a chance to let the ideas and thoughts set in their mind.

At least it’s something to consider.

 

Also, is this the first character abandoned by the writer? Is there a graveyard out back, through a window that crumpled up papers have been tossed out?

 

As I said, this piece by itself is very good, quite enjoyable and doesn’t really need to be changed much to remain good. But I feel there is the possibility for a longer bit of writing that can remain as a quick enjoyable ready, but with more of itself in it.

Reply
:iconasterlia:
Asterlia Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2014  Student General Artist
Thank you very much!

Yeah, I could probably lengthen it and make it more descriptive, but I intended this to be a quick scene to mimic the style of the argument. To me, I feel like the words that were spoken were more important than the setting, so that's why I didn't include much description, though I agree that it could have used more.

Nope, this writer has abandoned plenty of characters before, but this character is the first that they actually grew attached to. :)

Again, thanks for the feedback! I appreciate it :hug:
Reply
:iconstarlightt1234:
starlightt1234 Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
it's sad how even after this i'm STILL too lazy to write.
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:iconasterlia:
Asterlia Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2014  Student General Artist
hehehe same here! Pat pat 
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:iconbibliosmith:
Bibliosmith Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2014  Professional Writer
Amen.
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:iconasterlia:
Asterlia Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2014  Student General Artist
:meow:
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:iconspottedzebra1:
SpottedZebra1 Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2014  Hobbyist Filmographer
Oh God now I'm going to start feeling protective over book characters. D:
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:iconasterlia:
Asterlia Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2014  Student General Artist
hehehe :D
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:iconsleyf:
Sleyf Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Aw this is brilliant, I think you wrote such a great piece about the relationship between not only writer, but also artist and character - they do turn into their own people, and abandoning them seems wrong - they also have a way of dragging you back, it's so weird. 
My favourite part was the threats to be come an alcoholic and crazy cat-lady - that's right, throw a tantrum over it
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:iconbludragon123:
Bludragon123 Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
IKR.
I loved the crazy cat lady part too :)
Reply
:iconsleyf:
Sleyf Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Lol no offence meant to crazy cat ladies of course
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:iconbludragon123:
Bludragon123 Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hahaha. Yeah
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:iconasterlia:
Asterlia Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2014  Student General Artist
Aww thank you so much! I appreciate the feedback! :D

Hahaha yes, threatening the writer is always a good way to get them back on track ^^
Reply
:iconsleyf:
Sleyf Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You're welcome!

with me its usually the opposite way around - with me threatening the characters...I have a "Pit of Discontent" for the very purpose XD
Reply
:iconasterlia:
Asterlia Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2014  Student General Artist
Really? That's hilarious. ^^
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:iconsleyf:
Sleyf Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Yes it's true,  mostly when I can't draw them right
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:iconnicoleblakk:
nicoleblakk Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2014  Student Filmographer
wow!! this is amazing and emotional..
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:iconasterlia:
Asterlia Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2014  Student General Artist
Thank you! :hug:
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:iconnicoleblakk:
nicoleblakk Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2014  Student Filmographer
welcome
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:iconsupach:
Supach Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I like it ,enjoyed  this novel idea :clap:
Reply
:iconasterlia:
Asterlia Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2014  Student General Artist
I'm glad :)
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