How to Annoy a Writer

Ask them what they’re writing about.

Tell them that their characters need more physical descriptions because apparently you’re too lazy to use your imagination.

Say that their writing reminds you of Twilight.

Tell them that their typing is distracting you from your T.V. watching.

Now turn on the T.V. REALLY loudly.

Call them an awful person for killing off one of their characters.

Whine about how you didn’t like the ending because “OMG how could you???”

Get mad at them for writing instead of doing something productive.

Rant about how much you hate your English teacher for forcing you to read.

Always use improper grammar and never punctuate your sentences.

Never. Use. Paragraphs.

Ask them, “What’s so great about writing, anyway?”

Then ask them why they want “to be” a writer, like that’s actually something you can achieve.

Call all writers antisocial, depressed, weirdos. Because, of course, all of them are!

Remind them of how books are a dying species.

Share this joke with them:
“What’s the difference between a writer and a park bench? A park bench can support a family.”

Now laugh about your clever little joke while they try not to strangle you.

Claim that writing isn’t a form of art.

                                   
                                                  Now go do it. I dare you.